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Before sex.. you help each other get naked, after sex you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're fucked.
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Adam and Eve had the ideal marriage. Adam didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and eve didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked!
When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"
The most terrifying question a woman can ask a man is: Notice anything different?
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
I think I'd be willing to risk a cracked screen just to throw my iPhone at my boyfriend's head sometimes.