All Facebook Quotes
Men vs. Women Quotes
Prostitutes are way better than marriage. Why buy a whole cow, when you only want a glass of milk?
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I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button...
These animal crackers are bullshit, this elephant tastes exactly like the giraffe did.
If you got punched everytime you lied, you'd be dead.
I feel like getting some work done, so I'm going to sit here until the feeling passes.
Behind every fat girl there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, you're in the way.
I'm amazed when I see these little 8 year old kids with iPhones. You know what I had when I was 8? Imagination.
Dear Board of Education, so are we...
Some girls act like b*tches so they won't get hurt. Some girls are b*tches because they got hurt.
Before someone gets their drivers liscence they should have to beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart without falling off.