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Men vs. Women Quotes
I don't make enough money to go on vacation, so I'm just going to get drunk this weekend until I dont know where I am.
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If someone texts 'K', just reply with 'L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z'
Don't ever forget the 'L' if you ever Google, 'Grandfather Clock.'
Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only 4 registers will be open.
Hey autocorrect, stop messing with my damn curse words. You mother forklift.
I wish I could google "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed.
I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they fuck up I will just hit them all at once.
Got in a wreck with a smart car today, its totaled. My bike is fine though.
I wish fire trucks and ambulances played, 'Move bitch! Get out the way!' instead of using sirens.
I've always wanted to get into a cab and yell, 'Follow that car!!!'