Funny One Liner Quotes For Facebook Page 3

Shark

blondchef

One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling 'Help! Shark! Help!'. I just laughed, I knew that shark was not going to help him.

Titanic Backwards

Harrliver

If you try to watch the movie Titanic backwards it's really about a magical boat that saves people.

Crap on My Car

Ozipix

Anytime a bird takes a crap on my car, I eat an entire plate of scrambled eggs on my porch. Just to show the birds what I'm capable of.

Funny Police

blondchef

If a Police Officer says, Anything you say will be taken down & used as evidence... Your answer should always be, Please don't hit me again officer .

Trident Gum Commercial

Ozipix

If my boss paid me in Trident Layers, I'd probably have to kick his ass.

Don't Know the Answers

Cliffera

That awkward moment during a test when you don't know any of the answers, so you just start laughing because you know you're screwed.

Respect for Myself

blondchef

I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing for decades, how did I manage to f*ck that up?

Illegal Music Downloads

Ozipix

If we all end up in prison for illegal music downloads, I hope they divide us by music genres.

Funny Skydiving

ricketysailor

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Funny Angry Birds Quote

Sonia

If couples who are in love are called 'love birds', then couples who always argue should be called 'angry birds.'



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